This past weekend, I saw a lot of my aunts. I also went to Coney Island to watch mommy run her half marathon. Daddy couldn’t find her at the finish line, and he got so worried that he wasn’t paying attention to me. So I ate whatever I wanted off the ground. That’s right, bitches. I fucking feasted on garbage.
The next day, I made a poop that was 3/4 the length of my body.