View high resolution

I said to Mommy: “If you can’t put a fucking barrette in straight, then what are you capable of? Nothing.”

View high resolution

Mommy and I went accessory shopping today. The pictures that resulted from it show that I really need to be fucking groomed! 

View high resolution

If they don’t move the fucking boxes, I’ll make them into my thrones.

This past weekend, I saw a lot of my aunts. I also went to Coney Island to watch mommy run her half marathon. Daddy couldn’t find her at the finish line, and he got so worried that he wasn’t paying attention to me. So I ate whatever I wanted off the ground. That’s right, bitches. I fucking feasted on garbage.

The next day, I made a poop that was 3/4 the length of my body.

A dog barking at the moon.

I haven’t been updating my blog because I really need a haircut. Right now, I kind of look like one of those dudes that has a lot of patchy hair on his back, only I’m all hair. You can’t even see my pink collar, so everyone on the street thinks that I’m a boy. So what if my walk is a little butch? This is what happens when you neuter dogs.

View high resolution

Daddy took me in the shower with him this morning, and now I can’t get fucking dry!

View high resolution

At first, I bit these little bitches, but then they became my best friends.

View high resolution

I’m a fucking gremlin.

Jump, bitch. Jump!